When you're talking to your friends and relatives who just had babies, there are a few things you just shouldn't say. Of course, this isn't an exhaustive list, but these are some of the statements you should definitely avoid when you're meeting the new baby:
- "She looks nothing like you!" Secretly or not-so-secretly, all parents hope that their children will share at least some of their features. Saying this is almost like asking, "Is that really your baby?"
- "You're breastfeeding, right?" Breastfeeding versus formula feeding is one of the most touchy issues in child-rearing today, but this goes for all potentially controversial questions asked in a judgmental tone. Mom has already spent enough time worrying about what decisions to make for her baby on her own — she doesn't need you to judge her for them.
- "I could never leave my baby with a sitter so early." Some moms would like to stay home with their babies, but have to go back to work early against their will. Others simply want to return to work sooner than others. Focus on the positive — she has both a job and a baby — rather than the negative.
- "I lost the baby weight by [doing xyz]." Even if you just want to share your success story, a new mom has a lot more to focus on in the first few months than losing weight. Let Mom start that conversation or don't have it at all.
- "You look so tired." You might think you sound sympathetic, but you're probably just making Mom feel worse about how she hasn't had time to shower and get made up lately.
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